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AJ: Mum, can I have a new shirt?

Me: No.

AJ: It’s not fair. Bart’s got a new shirt!

Me: That’s because she is our favourite.

AJ: Hey!


Bart: Daddy, can I choose the cake we are having for tea on Sunday?

Jay: No, AJ is choosing the cake.

Bart: That’s not fair! She always chooses!

Jay: That is because she is our favourite.

Bart: Hey!

At least we are consistent in our parenting.

In Car Entertainment 


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This morning we headed off on our regular Saturday grocery shopping trip. We had only gone a few miles when Bart announces she has forgotten her writing book and pencils.

“But I’m bored” she whinged when we refused to turn back and get them.
“Tough” absolutely no sympathy from the adults in the car.

The kid moaned for a few miles, sung away to herself for a couple more and then all went quiet. 

Quiet is always suspicious. 

I looked into the back seat to see what she was up to and found her thoroughly entertained with a pair of sparkly shoes and a stuffed rabbit. 

I left her to it.

Kid Conversations


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Bart: Daddy, were you actually sick on Wednesday?

Jay: Yes I was.

Bart: Why does it hurt your throat when you are sick?

Jay: I think it is the stomach acids coming back up. They shouldn’t be in your throat and so they hurt when they are.

Bart: It’s like a cup of tea in the fire.

Jay: Ummmm…. okay…. what?

Bart: Stomach acid in your throat is like a cup of tea in the fire. It shouldnt be there.

The Queen of Observation


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My excuse?

After the dentist trip on Wednesday I wasnt feeling my best. Although the dental procedure itself wasnt painful, I can’t help but tense up when I am lying upside-down in a chair with a bunch of foreign objects shoved in my mouth. (Hmm, I think there maybe a script for a porn movie there somewhere.)

When I got home there was a headache slowly brewing at the base of my skull (which finally kicked in later that evening) and so my observation skills were not at their best.

But still.

I had been home nearly three hours and it was close to time to head down the track and meet the girls off the school bus when I went upstairs to get my iPod. Imagine my surprise to find a man in my bed!

Jay had been sent home sick from work that morning, gotten in the house and gone straight to bed.

No, I didn’t notice his car parked outside the house. No, I didnt really register his work bag on the kitchen table. No, I didnt spot his lunch box on the top shelf inside the fridge.

I did think he had forgotten his milk when I saw it in the door of the fridge. And I did wonder why the dog kept going upstairs to sleep rather than keep me company, but just thought he had found a fabulous patch of sunshine to bask in.

And the winner of the World Worst Wife Award goes to…

Thick Lip


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This morning came with a trip to the dentist. Oh joy.

When I had my check up last month I had some x-rays taken ( I wonder how old I have to be before I am not asked if there is any chance I am pregnant?) and although visually my teeth looked fine, the x-ray showed up a dark mass in one tooth that meant decay. So today after waving the kids off on the school bus, I jumped in the car and drove the forty-five minute trip to where the dental practice was located.

The procedure itself was pretty straight forward (thank goodness) and an injection was administered first to numb any potential pain. I was in and out of the chair within half an hour, which was great, it’s just I hate that feeling you are left with afterwards. You know, when it seems as though you lip is swollen up to six times its normal size, you sound as though you are three sheets to the wind and don’t even try to eat or drink anything or you will end up wearing it!

Thankfully that thick lip feeling only lasts a couple of hours and by the time I had popped into Fat Face (ha ha) to by a cardigan and driven home again, the feeling had pretty much worn off.

And Its Gone


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“Muuuuuummmmmm!” AJ yelled as she charged through the house to find me this morning, “The Sky TV has gone!”

“It really has!” Bart skidded to a stop behind her and I do mean skidded. I checked her sock covered feet and saw her bloody slippers were missing again. “We were halfway through watching Princess Sofia and it switched off.”

“Why are you surprised?” I asked them both, “I told you it was going today.”

“But we didn’t think you meant it.” AJ said “We thought you were pretending to talk to someone when you said the lady from Sky was on the telephone and you were only saying it was cancelled to stop us arguing!”

“Nope. I really spoke to someone and it’s really gone.”

“Oh,” Bart looked totally crestfallen. The pair of them walked dejectedly back to the living room.

“And put your slippers on!” I yelled after them.



The Cost Of Losing Pounds


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It was 9th September 2015 when I plucked up the courage and walked into my first Slimming World session. I was nervous, apprehensive and really didn’t know if it would work for me. But I was also determined to make changes within myself and give this the best go I could.

So almost twelve months later I am 4st 9lb (65lb) lighter in weight and a whole lot lighter in cash.

I don’t regret the money I have spent on attending the weekly class, because without going along each Wednesday evening, sitting in on the class talk and joining in with the image therapy, I don’t believe I would have achieved the loss that I have. It’s the other costs which are sometimes astounding.

My weekly food bill for instance. Eating healthier choices isn’t cheap! The fresh fruit and vegetables alone usually take up half the shopping trolley now a days. I do tend to shop around for the fresh stuff, bouncing between four different stores to get the best value for the best quality and isn’t that a fun way to spend a Saturday morning. (Which is why this Saturday Jay had us all up, dressed and travelling into town before 8am and the crowds descended!) And buying the lowest fat option on meat can be expensive too. The breadcrumb covered chopped and reformed chicken is totally off the menu now along with most of the pre-packaged selections.

And clothes. Don’t get me wrong, I love clothes, but damn, I have had to replace everything! My boobs have gone from a 42FF to a 38D. I have gone from a UK size 22/24 top to a 16 and my jeans have shrunk from a UK 20 to a 10/12.

I had kind of ignored how baggy everything was getting for a while, but when my underwear was falling down under my trousers and those trousers, unless belted would slip to my ankles I knew it was time to replace stuff.

Has it all been worth it? Most definitly. I feel healthier. I have more energy and don’t suffer with pain in my knees anymore. I have a lot more confidence in the way I look. Hell. I even went and got my hair cut!

I may have to start selling on eBay or do a car boot stall with my big clothes to claw back some of the money I’ve spent, but I am so pleased I walked into the Scout hall that night sat myself down and asked for help.Then and now