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I am going to double up my animals and build a big wooden boat. I know it hasn’t quite been forty days and forty nights, I have photo evidence of my girls in sundresses and a barbecue at the end of March to prove it, but it has been raining for days.

The fields are water-logged and soggy, depressed sheep are signing up for slimming classes as they’ve doubled their weight. The trickling burn which runs along the side of our track is now a muddy raging torrent and the bottom field is developing its own loch where a couple of Oyster Catchers have already moved in.

I did the playgroup run today to find potholes were now lakes and roads had become fords, which led to the big dilemma – how to travel through them. Do I race through as fast as I can, splashing water in every direction, including the windscreen of the car, so that for a few seconds I can not see a thing and so pray I am on the right side of the road and no one is coming the other way? Or do I creep through at a snail pace making minimum ripples but taking the risk the car will stall halfway through and I won’t get going again? (Just like the poor chap getting towed away by the local mechanics.) I am a self-confessed wuss so opted for slow and steady rather than racing through like a crazy hare. There are enough idiots on the road and I don’t wish to join their ranks.

Jay is fed up of going to muddy building sites to fix machines while rain is lashing down on him.  Yesterday when he got home his trousers and overalls were soaked up one leg where he had been crouching to fix a machine and the trouser cuff had dangled in a puddle.

AJ is fed up of staying indoors and not being able to run around with her friends at school breaks. (Although I am pleased not to have grass stained school uniform to contend with.)

Bart is fed up because she can’t go in the garden after playgroup and bounce on the trampoline.

Willow is fed up as her walks are shorter because none of us really wants to trudge through mud and puddles with her.

Sparky is fed up because although he only goes from the house to the barn, he gets soaking wet. Also he can’t hide under his favourite bird spotting bush because it drips on him.

The rabbit and hamsters really don’t give a damn because at the moment they are all indoor pets.

We have been promised a long hot summer to compare to 1976. I vaguely remember getting home from school that year and racing straight into the garden to play in the sunshine with Mums big laundry bowl, which was filled with water (I was five at the time). As someone who is fed up of getting soaked every time I step foot outside the house, all I can say is “bring it on”!

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