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This morning I lost my temper.

Bart’s behaviour has been trying, to say the least, for a while now. If my four-year old doesn’t get her own way she will scream, stamp her feet, yell and hit things, especially her older sister. She wants everything done for her, she wants it done NOW!

Yesterday afternoon the house phone rang and AJ reached it first. Well Bart started yelling because she wanted the phone. She had no idea who was on the other end, but she wanted to speak. I took the phone and while I was talking to our support worker (who incidentally took back her notice and stayed in her job – phew) Bart decided she would spit all over the living room carpet.


Today Bart wanted to take a toy boat to play group, which was fine. Considering the school run is quite stressful with getting bags, coats and this time of year, boots, scarves, hats and gloves, this morning was pretty plain sailing.

AJ did continue her artwork in the dirt on the side of the Landrover, I told her not to again and she got in the car.

Bart was buckled in her seat, AJ in hers, I was starting the engine when Bart gave a scream, she has dropped her toy boat on the floor. Now, I was not getting out again for this boat, so I began to reverse out of the parking spot. Because AJ would not unbuckle herself, get the damn plastic toy and give it to Bart, she got hit, more than once.

Well I lost it.

I nearly broke the hand brake when I yanked it on. I got out of the car, opened the back door, reached for the bloody boat and lobed it as hard as I could. The thing bounced off Jay’s shed and landed in the middle of the track, so for good measure I walked over and gave it a hard kick sending it flying towards the house, where it landed under one of the stone planters.

I got  back in the car, slammed the door and quietly drove off.

There was silence the whole trip to the bus stop.