• About

Living The High(land) Life

Living The High(land) Life

Category Archives: Parenting

Too Young

01 Wed Aug 2018

Posted by Sorel in Children, Conversation, Daddy, Daughters, Family, Growing Up, Kids, Kids Conversation, Marriage, Parenting, Talking

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

childhood, children, conversation, Daddy, Daddy and Daughter, Family, future, girls, Growing Up, grown up, kid conversation, Kids, Kids Conversation, kids conversations, love, marriage, marry, parents, too young

AJ: Is it true you are an adult at sixteen?

Jay: No.

Me: Well you can do adult things, like get married, but we wouldn’t be pleased.

Jay: We would say no. Sixteen is much too young.

Me: Daddy and I were twenty and that seems young now.

Jay: I see twenty years olds and I do think them too young to get married.

Me: But it worked for us.

Jay: That’s because Mummy met me and knew she would never find someone better.

Me: …….

Still Me: …….

Five minutes later

Still Me: …….

Between Worlds

26 Thu Jul 2018

Posted by Sorel in Children, Daughters, Family, Grandparents, Growing Up, Kids, Parenting, School, Sisters, Summer

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

autumn term, Back to School, British Summer, childhood, children, Family, fighting, Growing Up, high school, Kids, Parenting, primary school, school days, school holidays, School shoes, school uniform, Scotland Summer, sisters, Summer, summer holidays, teenager

It is a weird time for AJ at the moment. She finished primary school back at the end of June. We had loads of events that between Jay, her Grandparents and myself we managed to cover. There was talent shows, go cart races, riverside picnics and finally a wee prom.

And then we were done.

Now it is the countdown until high school starts.

Last week we shopped for uniform, shoes and gym kit. Even the act of not buying velcro strap shoes hammered home my little girl is growing up.

A teenager is just around the corner, with all the joys that will bring.

But this summer, she is a little lost and a little confused. Stuck in that no man’s land between being a wee girl and a high schooler. Wanting to be all grown up in front of her younger sister, but still making the arts and crafts projects she saw on kids TV.

With just over two weeks to go until the new term starts, things are getting tense. Her moods are swinging wildly and tempers are short. Her younger sister knows exactly which buttons to press to cause an explosion, and does so, frequently.

But hopefully, with the first week of high school under her belt, AJ will be able to relax and enjoy this next exciting stage of her life.

Losing my…. pet bird?

24 Tue Jul 2018

Posted by Sorel in Children, Conversation, Daughters, Family, Growing Up, Kids, Kids Conversation, Parenting, Pets, Talking

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

boys, curiosity, Growing Up, Katy Perry, lyrics, music, Pets, questions, songs, virginity

This morning Bart asked what virginity was. Being the absolute chicken he is, Jay told her to “Ask your mother”.

Trying to think of a nine year old context I told her it was someone who had never had a boyfriend, never kissed a boy.

“Oh,” she said “I thought it was someone who had lost their pet bird.”

“How did you get to that conclusion?” I know her brain often follows a path slightly angular to the rest of us, but pet bird?

“It’s in a Katy Perry song” Bart explained “Called Hummingbird Heartbeat”

“Losing a pet bird. Yep, we’ll go with that” Jay said.

Favouritism

10 Sat Sep 2016

Posted by Sorel in Children, Daughters, Family, Kids, Kids Conversation, Parenting, Shopping, Sisters

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

favouritism, not fair, Parenting

AJ: Mum, can I have a new shirt?

Me: No.

AJ: It’s not fair. Bart’s got a new shirt!

Me: That’s because she is our favourite.

AJ: Hey!

***********************************************************************

Bart: Daddy, can I choose the cake we are having for tea on Sunday?

Jay: No, AJ is choosing the cake.

Bart: That’s not fair! She always chooses!

Jay: That is because she is our favourite.

Bart: Hey!

At least we are consistent in our parenting.

When A Mum Won’t Do.

24 Wed Aug 2016

Posted by Sorel in Children, Daddy, Daughters, Family, Kids, Mummy, Parenting, Shoes, Sisters

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

bed making, bonds, Daddies, Daddy and Daughter, lessons, little girls, Mummy, shoe polishing, Shoes

When you are a little girl, there are certain things that only a Daddy can do. It’s not that a Mummy can’t do them, it’s just that to a little girl, Daddy can do them better.

As AJ and Bart get older I find it fascinating that two thing I loved my Dad to do for me are the same thing my girls want Jay to do for them.

wp-1472021090629.jpg

Dad, my sisters and I around 1976 (I am on the left with the pale blue dress and red shoes)

One is polishing shoes. I remember my Dad showing me how to apply the polish, then brushing and buffing the leather until it shone. Jay has given the girls the same lesson, but there is nothing like a newly polished pair of school shoes that Daddy has taken the time and effort to do. I would walk with my shoulders a  little straighter and a little more pride in my step on those mornings I had beautifully polished shoes on my feet that Dad had done.

Bart is taking such care of her school shoes this year. They are normally badly scuffed within the first couple of days, but one week in and they still look fabulous. Although it was a little worrying the other day when she came home and told us she had gotten a scratch on them. Upon inspection neither Jay or I could see any evidence of the afore-mentioned scratch.

“Oh,” Bart casually said “It disappeared after I licked it. My teacher showed my how.”

WHAT?!

Upon explanation, we found out Bart’s new teacher had shown her how to slightly dampen her finger with spit and then rub her shoe over the scratch. Still gross, but a least the image of Bart holding her shoe like and ice cream and giving it a huge lick was suppressed… kind of.Jay and Girls.jpg

Monday morning when Jay had the polish out for his work boots, (yes, he does polish his scruffy, steel toe capped work boots) Bart sidled up to him with her new school footwear in her hands, batting her eyelashes. I couldn’t help the nostalgia flowing through me. Of course Jay did hers as well. Who can resist a little girl looking at you as though you are a boot brush wielding hero?

The other evening Jay had been called upstairs by Bart. When he got there she wanted him to shake out her duvet and tuck it around her. AJ too, likes Jay to take the time to tuck her in and make sure her toes are fully covered by the duvet. Again I completely understood.

I loved it when my Dad tucked me in. Sometimes I would deliberately wreck my bed until the blankets were on the floor, then call Dad until he came upstairs and remade it. He would tuck me in so tight I could hardly move. It was the best feeling.

Daddies and their little girls. It is such a special bond.

 

Words to young women.

03 Thu Oct 2013

Posted by Sorel in Daughters, Growing Up, Parenting, Women

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

Facebook, Friends, future, Miley Cyrus, selfies, Sinead O'Connor, teenagers, worry

We often worry about what the future holds for our girls. It is not always a nice world we live in and Jay and I will protect them as much as we can. There are many, many amazing genuine people in this world, but there are also those who will search for and exploit any vulnerability in young girls and boys too.

Sinead O’Connor wrote and open letter to Miley Cyrus after the Hannah Montana actress said she based her look on the Irish singer. The words Sinead wrote can strike a chord with many young girls now a days who take half-naked “selfies” and post them on Facebook. I have removed those teenagers I know who do this a lot with their pouting poses and skimpy outfits from my friends list, as AJ often looks over my shoulder and it is not a positive image I wish her to emulate. Especially as she knows some of these girls. I remember being very upset when one of my daughters’ former baby sitters allowed photo’s of herself drunk and sat on the toilet to be put on the internet for all to see. I don’t wish to see this, I don’t want my impressionable daughters to see this and so the sixteen year old in question was immediately deleted from my page. (And not asked to sit for the girls again.)

So I encourage all girls on the cusp of womanhood to read this letter and maybe look to yourself and those around you. Choose your friends wisely and be careful what you post on the internet, as once it is out there, you have very little chance of getting it back.

*I do apologise if you find some of the language offensive in this letter, but they are Sinead’s words, not mine and it is not my place to alter any of them.

OPEN LETTER TO MILEY CYRUS

Dear Miley,

I wasn’t going to write this letter, but today i’ve been dodging phone calls from various newspapers who wished me to remark upon your having said in Rolling Stone your Wrecking Ball video was designed to be similar to the one for Nothing Compares… So this is what I need to say… And it is said in the spirit of motherliness and with love.

I am extremely concerned for you that those around you have led you to believe, or encouraged you in your own belief, that it is in any way ‘cool’ to be naked and licking sledgehammers in your videos. It is in fact the case that you will obscure your talent by allowing yourself to be pimped, whether its the music business or yourself doing the pimping.

Nothing but harm will come in the long run, from allowing yourself to be exploited, and it is absolutely NOT in ANY way an empowerment of yourself or any other young women, for you to send across the message that you are to be valued (even by you) more for your sexual appeal than your obvious talent.

I am happy to hear I am somewhat of a role model for you and I hope that because of that you will pay close attention to what I am telling you.

The music business doesn’t give a shit about you, or any of us. They will prostitute you for all you are worth, and cleverly make you think its what YOU wanted.. and when you end up in rehab as a result of being prostituted, ‘they’ will be sunning themselves on their yachts in Antigua, which they bought by selling your body and you will find yourself very alone.

None of the men oggling you give a shit about you either, do not be fooled. Many’s the woman mistook lust for love. If they want you sexually that doesn’t mean they give a fuck about you. All the more true when you unwittingly give the impression you don’t give much of a fuck about yourself. And when you employ people who give the impression they don’t give much of a fuck about you either. No one who cares about you could support your being pimped.. and that includes you yourself.

Yes, I’m suggesting you don’t care for yourself. That has to change. You ought be protected as a precious young lady by anyone in your employ and anyone around you, including you. This is a dangerous world. We don’t encourage our daughters to walk around naked in it because it makes them pray for animals and less than animals (a distressing majority of whom work in the music industry and the associated media).

You are worth more than your body or your sexual appeal. The world of showbiz doesn’t see things that way, they like things to be seen the other way, whether they are magazines who want you on their cover, or whatever.. Don’t be under any illusions.. ALL of them want you because they’re making money off your youth and your beauty.. which they could not do except for the fact your youth makes you blind to the evils of show business. If you have an innocent heart you can’t recognise those who do not.

I repeat, you have enough talent that you don’t need to let the music business make a prostitute of you. You shouldn’t let them make a fool of you either. Don’t think for a moment that any of them give a flying fuck about you. They’re there for the money.. we’re there for the music. It has always been that way and it will always be that way. The sooner a young lady gets to know that, the sooner she can be REALLY in control.

You also said in Rolling Stone that your look is based on mine. The look I chose, I chose on purpose at a time when my record company were encouraging me to do what you have done. I felt I would rather be judged on my talent and not my looks. I am happy that I made that choice, not least because I do not find myself on the proverbial rag heap now that I am almost 47 yrs of age.. which unfortunately many female artists who have based their image around their sexuality, end up on when they reach middle age.

Real empowerment of yourself as a woman would be to in future refuse to exploit your body or your sexuality in order for men to make money from you. I needn’t even ask the question.. I’ve been in the business long enough to know that men are making more money than you are from you getting naked. Its really not at all cool. And its sending dangerous signals to other young women. Please in future say no when you are asked to prostitute yourself. Your body is for you and your boyfriend. It isn’t for every spunk-spewing dirtbag on the net, or every greedy record company executive to buy his mistresses diamonds with.

As for the shedding of the Hannah Montana image.. whoever is telling you getting naked is the way to do that does absolutely NOT respect your talent, or you as a young lady. Your records are good enough for you not to need any shedding of Hannah Montana. She’s waaaaaaay gone by now.. Not because you got naked but because you make great records.

Whether we like it or not, us females in the industry are role models and as such we have to be extremely careful what messages we send to other women. The message you keep sending is that its somehow cool to be prostituted.. its so not cool Miley.. its dangerous. Women are to be valued for so much more than their sexuality. we aren’t merely objects of desire. I would be encouraging you to send healthier messages to your peers.. that they and you are worth more than what is currently going on in your career. Kindly fire any motherfucker who hasn’t expressed alarm, because they don’t care about you.

Temper

28 Thu Feb 2013

Posted by Sorel in Children, Daughters, Kids, Parenting

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

angry, behaviour, frustration, hitting, shouting, temper

This morning I lost my temper.

Bart’s behaviour has been trying, to say the least, for a while now. If my four-year old doesn’t get her own way she will scream, stamp her feet, yell and hit things, especially her older sister. She wants everything done for her, she wants it done NOW!

Yesterday afternoon the house phone rang and AJ reached it first. Well Bart started yelling because she wanted the phone. She had no idea who was on the other end, but she wanted to speak. I took the phone and while I was talking to our support worker (who incidentally took back her notice and stayed in her job – phew) Bart decided she would spit all over the living room carpet.

Grrrr…

Today Bart wanted to take a toy boat to play group, which was fine. Considering the school run is quite stressful with getting bags, coats and this time of year, boots, scarves, hats and gloves, this morning was pretty plain sailing.

AJ did continue her artwork in the dirt on the side of the Landrover, I told her not to again and she got in the car.

Bart was buckled in her seat, AJ in hers, I was starting the engine when Bart gave a scream, she has dropped her toy boat on the floor. Now, I was not getting out again for this boat, so I began to reverse out of the parking spot. Because AJ would not unbuckle herself, get the damn plastic toy and give it to Bart, she got hit, more than once.

Well I lost it.

I nearly broke the hand brake when I yanked it on. I got out of the car, opened the back door, reached for the bloody boat and lobed it as hard as I could. The thing bounced off Jay’s shed and landed in the middle of the track, so for good measure I walked over and gave it a hard kick sending it flying towards the house, where it landed under one of the stone planters.

I got  back in the car, slammed the door and quietly drove off.

There was silence the whole trip to the bus stop.

wpid-20130228_121737.jpg

Cursing

13 Wed Feb 2013

Posted by Sorel in Children, Daughters, Family, Kids, Parenting, Talking

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

cursing, language, swearing

Since having the two girls around, I do try hard to watch my language. I have never had a really foul vocabulary, but sometimes words do slip through the net… or the mouth.

Recently Bart has been cracking me up. I don’t know where she has gotten it from, probably some TV show, but she has the best curse.

When ever she get frustrated with something you hear a little high-pitched voice say,

“Oh crooked cucumbers!”

I may steal that one for myself.050

 

Banging Heads

30 Wed Jan 2013

Posted by Sorel in Children, Daughters, Family, Growing Up, Kids, Parenting

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

Arguing, fighting, sanity

When I was a kid I remember my Mum yelling at me and my sisters, “stop fighting or I will bang your heads together!” At the time I did not appreciate how hard it was for her with three girls fighting and shouting at each other.

Now I can.

I am so hoping this is just a ‘phase’ but my daughters are driving me crackers. They argue and they fight all the time. The way AJ speaks to Bart is positively horrible and if Bart does not get a reply from AJ straight away she whines, shouts and punches.

They are arguing when they walk into the kitchen for breakfast and they are arguing as they put on their pyjama’s at night.

I try to ignore it, walk away from it or mediate between them. I talk to them about how they behave, I ask them and tell them to be nice to each other. I give them jobs to do, I give them nothing to do. I make them stay in the room with me, I get them to stay in a room by themselves. I try everything and nothing is working.

At the moment they are sitting with me on the sofa and AJ is copying everything Bart does… which starts a row. Then Bart is making kissy noises at AJ… which starts another row.

I have to separate them just to get a bit of peace.

I so want to get through this stage of them growing up without loosing my sanity, but at the moment it is doubtful.

 

A Mothers Mild Panic!

18 Fri Jan 2013

Posted by Sorel in Children, Daughters, Family, Growing Up, Kids, Parenting

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

boys, bruise, love bite, panic, swimming

It Friday again (don’t they come around fast), so it was time for the girls to go to their swimming lesson.

Bart turned back into a water baby and had a great time like last week. AJ really seemed to be listening to her instructor, although I did see some messing around with one of the young lads in her group.

I met both girls with towels when they came out and we headed back to the changing rooms to get dressed in street clothes.

It was when AJ was stood in front of me shivering I noticed a mark on her neck. It looked like a finger size bruise or a love bite!!!!!! What the hell… my little girl is five… five!!!

My heart racing with panic, alarm and thoughts of hunting down every boy she had been within touching distance of that day, I put my finger on the mark… and it came away. Turned out it was a bit of tumble dryer fluff from the freshly laundered bath towel.

Phew! That is one conversation I don’t want for many, many, many years.

← Older posts

Recent Posts

  • Bushy Brows
  • How Old?
  • Too Young
  • Dipping My Toes into Hairdressing.
  • Cock A Leg
  • Between Worlds
  • Losing my…. pet bird?
  • Another Beach Walk
  • Monsters and Mounds
  • A Chip Off The New Tooth
  • Brace Yourself
  • Hub-abaloo
  • It’s Just A Jump To The Left…
  • World Peas Day
  • Kid Converstions 
  • Favouritism
  • In Car Entertainment 
  • Kid Conversations
  • The Queen of Observation
  • The Only Patch of Sunshine.

Archives

  • Aug 2018 (3)
  • Jul 2018 (4)
  • Oct 2017 (4)
  • Sep 2017 (2)
  • Sep 2016 (13)
  • Aug 2016 (21)
  • Aug 2014 (2)
  • Jul 2014 (1)
  • Jun 2014 (9)
  • May 2014 (1)
  • Apr 2014 (3)
  • Mar 2014 (3)
  • Feb 2014 (2)
  • Dec 2013 (8)
  • Nov 2013 (3)
  • Oct 2013 (11)
  • Sep 2013 (1)
  • Jun 2013 (11)
  • May 2013 (5)
  • Apr 2013 (3)
  • Mar 2013 (9)
  • Feb 2013 (14)
  • Jan 2013 (15)
  • Dec 2012 (3)
  • Nov 2012 (3)
  • Oct 2012 (19)
  • Sep 2012 (6)
  • Aug 2012 (9)
  • Jul 2012 (23)
  • Jun 2012 (12)
  • May 2012 (26)
  • Apr 2012 (28)
  • Mar 2012 (11)

Adoption Children Conversation Daughters Dog Easter Holidays Family Grandparents Growing Up Guinea Pig Hamster Kids Kids Conversation Marriage Parenting Pets Playgroup Rabbit School Scotland Shoes Shopping Summer Talking Uncategorized Walking Weather Whippet Women Work

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 426 other followers

I am a Mum living in Scotland with my husband, two daughters and quite a few four pawed furry family members.

Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com.

Cancel
Privacy & Cookies: This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this website, you agree to their use.
To find out more, including how to control cookies, see here: Cookie Policy